For Those Back Home

2009-06-04T20:13:00.000-07:00

Hi! Its been a long time. Sorry about that.

So what's happened since the last time most of us met. I'll be finishing college in may 2010. Planning on applying to grad school. And see what happens from there.

School's been good. Gonna take the second summer session (intro to immunology and physics) so that I can squeeze in more classes during the fall and spring semester. My original plan was to actually take summer session so as to lessen my usual semester load, but I somehow always seem to find something else to squeeze into my schedule, so i've given up trying to lighten it and decided to live with the fact that i will always be busy. Which is kinda a good thing.

I've decided to also just settle with getting a history minor instead of a major, in favour of doing more science classes, since I realize that I've filled my entire college transcript with a pretty good balance of arts and science classes, so i'd better tip the balance a bit. Giving up the history major was a really tough decision. I really wanted that one. Sigh. But I guess I have to just keep my mind on my future goal, cos if you really look at it, the history major would end up being asthetically pleasing.

Anyway, I'll probably be back in Singapore next summer. So i'll get the chance to see everyone again. Hopefully this time, I'll be able to spend a good bit of time with everyone instead of having to rush everywhere like in Dec. I'll also be doing my grad school applications at home too. So go find me there!

2008-12-06T10:11:00.000-08:00

It funny how the older I get, the more cautious I am about friendships. Is this the self-fulfilling claim of my increasing cynicism and skeptism towards people and their motives? Why is it that trust is such a hard thing to give out now. Seriously, people who are too kind sometimes scare me.

Friendships made now seem like such a fragile entity. The workings of it could be considered somewhat childish too - you liked me yesterday, how about today, etc...I miss the certainty, the security. There are of course some friendships I just know is real. I know for certain that the gang from HSC won't ditch me one day. I know that they love me and would always want the best for me. This feeling is mutual.

I'm so sick of having to question new friendships made now, knowing that once situations change, we'd probably only see one another about once a semester or not at all. Sometimes, people are too busy going through life. I know that. I understand. But I still wish for the time when I knew, probably immediately, that this person was in for real.....

2008-09-20T21:16:00.000-07:00

So, looks like UNC's is famous again. haha.

we were chosen to be the place to represent the state of North Carolina on ABC's Good Morning America's 50 states in 50 days tour. yay! i didn't wake up to go the live broadcast though. somehow, standing out in the cold at 6am in the morning after 2-3 hours of sleep, doesn't seem appealling at the time. oh well, will go online to check out the videos. AND YOU SHOULD TOO!!

looking back, everytime i start to take unc for granted, or start having doubts about my choice of school, something happens to reinforce my choice, to make everything ok again. never have i experienced a school with such pride and school spirit in ALL that they do. the kind of cohesiveness unc has is something i've always longed for in a school. can't believe how lucky i am to be here. =)

2008-09-07T22:01:00.001-07:00

2008-09-07T20:34:00.000-07:00

Its hurricane season now. So don't panic when you see North Carolina as one of the possible places to be hit. Thanks though for your emails and messages regarding Hanna. I didn't know they would feature that storm in news back home. I'd think they would focus more on the upcoming one (Ike - likely to be a Category 4 hurricane).

So far life's been busy. Juggling school, work, research, the singapore association, volunteering and everything else i want to do within the 24 hours and 7 days a week i have. I know I know, I'll probably start hearing people nag again. But somehow, in the short period of time i have here, as an undergrad, i really really want to do it all. I admire those who don't need much sleep. haha.

the new batch of singaporeans are great. different but still lots of fun. they all have their own varied, unique quirkiness though. which definitely makes life interesting. =) however, i still do miss the batch from last year. i miss our large group dinners and long long long conversations about everything and nothing. i miss the random and celebratory trips to coldstone. and i miss the movie nights and basketball games and the cooking and study sessions in the basement of the union.

most of you might be wondering why i flew thousands of miles to the other side of the world to hang out with singaporeans. I have american friends ok! =P but ya, these are just random thoughts. wanted to throw it out there to pacify those who think my blog is dead (its getting there i think!) and to just capture whats in my head at the moment.

2008-07-22T18:33:00.000-07:00

ok, so this is some random thing that xinyi wants me to do. and i think at the end i'm supposed to tag someone to do this questionnaire too. AND i tag CARINE LIM!!! you still read my blog girl??

#1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?

my lover.....uh huh. well upset i guess...angry too. i'll probably be ranting to somebody about it. haha

#2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?

lots of things actually. but if i could only have one then i'd say travel to different places.

#3. If you could be at one place right now, where would it be?

home.

#4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?

yup. have absolutely no idea what i want to do with my life. dun even know whether i'm in the right field.

#5. What's your ideal lover like?

not answering this.

#6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?

loved by someone

#7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?

really love? if i really really really love someone, i could wait for years. but then again, saying is very different from doing. so i have to say i have no idea.

#8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?

try to forget him.

#9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?

yup.

#10. What do you want most in life?

i want my family and friends to be happy.

#11. Is being tagged fun?

well, if you call constant nagging to do this fun.....

haha. joking la. i wouldn't call it fun. interesting. not fun (don't hit me when i get back!)

#12. How do you see yourself in ten years time?

refer to question number 4.

#13. Who is the current most important person to you?

My Family.

#14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?

xinyi is a great person, even though she's too hard on herself (you're too hard on yourself). basically, if she sets her mind to it, she can do whatever she wants. a great friend and someone i really enjoy talking too, even though our taste in subject and probably continents are very different.

#15. Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?

either way is fine i guess. if you asked whether i'd give up marriage to be rich, THAT is a whole other thing.

#16. If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be?

i wanna dog. never had pets before. fishes don't count cos they didn't last very long. didn't even have time to come up with names for them! sheesh

#17. What are one of those things which you would prefer not to do?

make someone upset. but i think no one really wants to make anyone upset. sorry about the vague and generic answers. heh

#18. What kind of person do you think you are?

i need my space sometimes. if we click, we can talk for hours. i'm actually a bum, whether people believe this or not.

#19. What do you define as a bad day?

When i feel that i am the lousiest person on earth. (stole this from xinwei)

#20. If you have to choose between love and friendship, what would it be?

can't have both?

2008-02-09T18:08:00.000-08:00

Recently, the church that i attend here has been doing a series about living life with a margin. Evidently, margins give people space/time and this is where relationships are able to flourish.

This semester has been a whole lot busier than the last. Taking on a heavier course load, working and being involved in more activities is starting to take its toll (especially over these 2 weeks). Its when i'm starting to think about whether all this stuff in my life is really necessary, then the message hits home. Life without margins really isn't living at all. There hasn't really been time to be with friends or even remember to be with friends. There hasn't been enough time to study properly. And my sleeping hours have become erratic. As this occurs, my standards about study drops (quite a lot), my energy level dips and I start to think less about other people (i haven't seen some people in weeks). Its an understatement to say "this is bad".

I want to say things will be better and that I'll remove most of my load soon after setting my priorities straight. but i can't. not right now. right now, my mantra is "survive this week". After this week, we'll see....you know what, I take my first statement back. things will get better, after this week. then hopefully, my posts will sound more optimistic and happy. =)

2008-01-23T20:44:00.000-08:00

Lord, grant me the patience to await your guidance and direction and the ability to tell the difference between my needs and wants.

2008-01-05T10:34:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year everyone!

Tis the season to reminisce and make new resolutions. I shall only do the former. Resolutions don't always work for me and they usually become forgotten by Feb. Moreover my main resolution hasn't really changed in the last few years. So i don't think i need to make a new one.

2007 has been a huge milestone in my life. Getting the a level results....working for the first time in my life....looking for a job (thats a first too)...deciding which college to go to and sticking with my decision...saying goodbye to family and friends and country for 1 and a half years...experiencing college...making new friends....dealing with homesickness and longing for closer relationships...and lots and lots more.

It just amazing, the journey I've been through so far. And its amazing that I got through it.

2007 also marks a deeper dependence on God. Without friends and family here, I tended to turn to God more and more often for help. Or to complain. i think this is a good start.

Well cheers to 2008! I hope it will be as eventful as 2007. (I might regret this statement later....)

2007-12-24T19:51:00.000-08:00

It'll be Christmas in less than 2 hours!! actually by the time i finish writing this post, it'll probably be 1.

The holidays on the whole have been great. its really good to just kick back and relax without having to think or stress over any impending exams or papers due. i still haven't done my sitting-at-a-cafe-drinking-coffee-and-reading-my-book thing yet and sadly it'll have to be postponed until further notice.

Christmas here is a little more traditional and a lot of times I feel like i'm on the sidelines watching a movie of people's lives as they celebrate Christmas with family and friends. Its a relatively new experience though and I'm enjoying it thoroughly. Too bad there's no snow.

Anyway, for those who still read this blog, a very MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR!! =D

2007-12-11T10:38:00.000-08:00

Its Dec 11 and guess what! its 21 degrees outside. 21!!! and it is predicted to go to a high of 26 degrees later. sheesh! talk about global warming and crazy weather patterns.

well i guess i'll have to put away my winter coats for a while and change back to berms and t-shirts. not complaining though, i rather trudge to exams in summer clothes than wade through 4701384601inches of snow. hehe.

2007-12-01T10:50:00.002-08:00

Its not new when I say humans are really adverse to change and the unknown. However, its the impact of realizing how true this is that really hits home. Coming here was supposed to get me to step out of my comfort zone. It was supposed to get me to acknowledge and deal with the uncertainty of living. It was supposed to allow me to see how far I can push myself and find out my boundaries. And so far it has.

However, I also realized that too much change and uncertainty in one go can be so overwhelming that I just desperately reach out and grasp whatever that is familiar within my sight. Many times I do this at the expense of experiencing something new or something I will potentially like and enjoy. When these things happen, I'm thankful for the many friends who have their heads screwed on right to remind me that life is like this and I shouldn't crawl back into my comfort zone and huddle in a corner just because things could potentially go wrong if I tried it out. What happens if something DOES go right. I always forget that. Its an option I usually and very naturally pass over.

Thanks for listening to my problems guys and feel free to shove me out of my comfort zone whenever you see me crawling back there again.

2007-11-24T21:21:00.000-08:00

It Thanksgiving Break now and I'm spending it at my friend's place.

before i left i really couldn't decide whether this break is a good thing or not and its a dilemma thats been bugging me every now and then throughout the holidays. Its such a bad time for a break! Exams, tests, papers, debates and final projects are due soon. so soon its scary. sometimes i just want to skip school and mug all day at the library so that i can catch up with my studies. URGH. I've become such a nerd! i'm scaring myself!

This was my first real thanksgiving and its nothing like what i expected thanksgiving to be. which is a good thing because i've enjoyed myself immensely. my friend's family travels to her grandparent's place for thanksgiving and they celebrate it at the local hunting club. yes, you didn't read wrongly. HUNTING CLUB. on the morning of thanksgiving, the men and boys and a few girls will go out early to deer hunt. every family will contribute dishes and everyone gathers for a thanksgiving lunch. i even got to try my hand at hunting in the afternoon. i didn't see anything though which was quite sad. by the end of the hunting trip i just wanted to shoot at something. anything!

despite my concerns over studies, i think the holiday came at a good time for me emotionally. i knew i was getting a little homesick but i didn't know how homesick i was until i got to my friend's place. just seeing her family and being with them really reminded me of home. they really made me feel very comfortable and a part of their family. i cannot thank them enough for this release.

hmmm, maybe this break did a lot of good for me afterall. although i didn't get all my work done (or even a little) i think i'm rejuvenated for the study marathon up ahead.

To all who're having their exams now, JIAYOU! and to those who're having their break now....i dun like you very much. =P

2007-11-13T14:52:00.000-08:00

hi! i realize it isn't exactly convenient to post all my pics on this blog, so i have all my pics in another site. here's the link: http://uxgnit.multiply.com/

2007-11-03T18:57:00.000-07:00

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now I'm found
Was blind but now I see so clearly

Hallelujah, grace like rain falls down on me
Hallelujah, all my stains are washed away, washed away

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

Chorus

When we've been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun
We've no less days to sing Your praise
Than when we first begun

i'm gonna share all the new songs i learnt in church, intervarsity and campus crusade.

2007-11-03T17:52:00.000-07:00

Halloween was last Wednesday. I didn't dress up...but there were many people who did.

In the US, Halloween is a BIG thing. shops have decorations for Halloween and costume and thrift shops really thrive during this period. people take days, weeks and sometimes even months to design and do up their costumes.

In Chapel Hill, the town closes off the largest street downtown and it turns into a giant Halloween party. about 75,000 people, including students, residents, out-of-staters and people from all over North Carolina, turn up. i was told that after 11pm the place becomes crazy and that i shouldn't expect to leave with every single person in the group i come with cos the place is so crowded. so me being me, i vowed to leave franklin street before 11pm.

while walking to franklin street, we could already see drunk people staggering around and paramedics attending to a guy who had already passed out. even before stepping onto the street, the strong smell of alcohol hits me. fortunately, it was about 9.45pm so the place wasn't so crowded yet.

most people were dressed up. cope lined the street. beside many groups of them were bins of confiscated alcohol, plastic knives, a random triton and any other potentially harmful objects (real or fake).

at franklin street, i was given a taste of the best of human creativity and lack thereof. imaginations really soared here. i saw a group of tetris bricks and tons of spongebob squarepants and harry potters. there were also of course some really distasteful getups like a pregnant britney spears, etc. (I shall not elaborate).

you might ask, what did i do at franklin. i asked the same question to friends before i went. the answer. just walked back and forth. really. thats what they do. walk back and forth to show off their costume or comment on others. if you want your costume commented on, 2 extremes, either make your props so huge people cannot walk past without seeing them, or wear as little as possible so that people cannot walk past without seeing them or it or whatever.

it was a new experience. not something i would want to experience again unless i have nothing to do that night. but it was an experience. not sure what to make of it though other than the fact that this festival seems so hollow and meaningless to me.

2007-10-30T19:54:00.000-07:00

On Oct 28 2007, another lost sheep found her way back to the shepherd.

Join me as we praise God for his work.

2007-10-25T19:33:00.000-07:00

Washington was so much more than i expected and then some.

There was so much that I learnt during the trip that its difficult to fully process them all. Right now, i'm afraid that as i get caught up in the hussle of school, i might forget them all.

The trip was really worth every bit of that $25. I got glimpses of dc that no tour group would bring me. I met people so different and unique in culture, background and ideology and yet so similar in desires and dreams that as I reflect, i'm still reeling from the amazement and wonder that such a small group of 13 could contain such diverse people.

As we visited the homeless shelters, temporary housing, non-profit groups and soup kitchens I found my stereotypes of shelters and homeless people melting away. I'm sure that there are shelters and homeless people that fit my initial stereotype. However, i know now that they come in different forms. The realization that anyone can one day become homeless, including me, is also something new to me. And its a very terrifying idea.

When I went on the trip, all I wanted was to know more about homelessness and maybe get a little sightseeing done. Now, after getting to actually meet and interact with some of the homeless or previously homeless, i've become more aware of the fact that these are people, with lives and desires and dreams and pasts, not something i walk past along the street or sometimes not even notice at all.

i think that sometimes i forget that they are people, in the midst of my fear and uncertainty and skeptism towards them. most times i just try to avoid them altogether. this not exactly something i'm proud of. but coming back from that trip, i'm gonna try to change. its a work in progress.

2007-10-22T21:18:00.000-07:00

I would blog about my washington dc trip. but this is more important...

To everyone reading this, please pray for rain because there is drought in the south eastern area of the United States (including North Carolina).

I heard there is only 90 days worth of water left in NC.

2007-10-14T12:18:00.000-07:00

Everyone needs compassion
A love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
A kindness of a Savior
The hope of nations

My Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is Mighty to save
He is Mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as You find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender

Shine your light and let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus

2007-10-10T20:05:00.000-07:00

One thing about being so far away from family and close friends is that I don't have people close by when i want to vent. People here are different. Things here are sometimes done differently. I know that. But really, sometimes, just sometimes, i want to be able to just go up to someone and go URGH! I realize its not the big things that get to me. Its the little, tiny things that built up. When small things happen, i tend to keep it all inside. maybe thats why i usually reach a point where i get so frustrated that i NEED to talk to someone. sorry to anyone who've ever heard me vent before...and thanks for listening.

2007-10-03T17:49:00.000-07:00

I'm going to washington dc for fall break!! AND it'll only cost $25 for 4 days and 3 nights. woohoo!!

I got into this program at my school called alternative fall break. this program takes students to dc or other parts of north carolina to do community service and learn about the poverty or healthcare issues at that place. for the dc trip, we're mainly dealing with homelessness and urban poverty.

signing up for this trip, i realized i have A LOT of mixed motives for wanting to go. obviously, i want to go for the low cost (i mean how many people can go to dc for 4 days and pay only $25?!) and i wanted to sightsee. at the same time, i'd like to see what a homeless shelter is like. i want to know what kind of living situation these people are in.

i know we'll be going to a few shelters and a food bank. we'll probably be helping out with the cooking, cleaning and serving of food. i heard that we may also be helping homeless people with their resumes and job-hunting. it REALLY sounds like a lot of fun. i pretty excited. all this will be new to me though, so i really hope that i will have the correct mindset when i reach dc.

i know we will have time to sightsee so i'm excited about that too!! there's so many things i want to see and visit but i think i might have to go another time to be able to visit all the places i want to see. i don't mind though. the experience from this trip is something i'm sure i cannot get in any tour package.

just pray for us as we go that:
1) God will keep all the members going on the trip safe
2) the group will be able to work well together
3) we will be prepared - physically and mentally
4) we'll all have a great time!

2007-10-02T17:11:00.000-07:00

Life's getting busier now. If I'm not having a test this week, I'm supposed to be studying for an upcoming test the next, so yup, life's picking up pace.

I might not update that often now but I promise I'll try.

Last Saturday, the Singaporeans celebrated Mid-Autumn festival (MAF). I'm sorry I didn't take any pictures but if you do have facebook, they're all in the photos section.

MAF was GREAT! for the first time in our lives we actually made rendang! woohoo! i was so pleased with our cooking. there was tomato eggs, long bean eggs, mee goreng (more like instant noodle with lots of hot sauce), chinese cabbage and corn soup, REAL rice, moon cakes, pineapple tarts, etc. I was super happy! haha

I can't really describe it but there's a great deal of joy in making and eating these familiar dishes and a great of triumph in actually seeing these dishes come out correctly and enjoyed by the people there. I loved it. A lot. It really reminded me of home....

With the food getting worse or less varied at the dining halls, I'm starting to crave all the singapore food. Hokkien mee, chicken rice, bak chor mee.....ahhhhh!! cannot keep thinking about these or I'll really start drooling. Ya, but seriously, whoever said that i'll miss the food A LOT is SO right! I think if I want to eat all these, I'll just have to learn how to cook them. Recipes anyone??

By the way, these pictures are for me to drool over. AHHHHH!! cravings....

2007-09-26T09:46:00.000-07:00

I went to Sunset beach for the weekend. Yay! finally got to see the beaches and whats outside Chapel Hill. =)

The trip was really fun. I went with Intervarsity Christian Fellowship. They had a New Students Retreat, so I just decided to go for it....on a whim. haha. Don't regret it though even though I had a lab exam and econ mid-terms the monday and tuesday i got back. =P Apparently a lot of people had exams and papers due that week to and brought work to do....BUT of course nobody did it.

For $60 i think the trip was a really good deal. We were a 5 mins drive from the beach and our apartments are GORGEOUS! I think my mouth stayed open for quite some time.

Below are some pictures I remembered to take at the retreat. The first pic is of the people I sayed with at the retreat. the 4 on the left are juniors and the rest are freshmen. the girl to my right in blue drove me and few others to this place. and yes, i'm the shortest! laugh.

This is my small group. They're a REALLY great bunch of people! too bad we couldn't spend a lot of time together.

I REALLY REALLY like this picture. and the fact that i took it makes it even nicer. hehe.

This bridge is really cool. sunset beach is on an island so the bridge connects it to the mainland. Its a single lane bridge so each lane takes turns to cross. i heard that sometimes, people can get standed overnight because of jams.

2007-09-24T11:29:00.000-07:00

i am stressed.

things are going too fast. what happened to breathing?! i thought that when i get here, i would be able to take the pace down a notch and actually think. BUT, i guess thats not gonna happen any time soon.

i've been trying to put off the question on "what am i gonna do with my life?" for some time. BUT it keeps popping up. with only three years of university while everyone here has 4, i have to decide on what i want to do by next semester. do i want to do pre-med? do i actually want to do bio? if not, what else can i do and actually a job later? what about other things like job hunting and volunteering? i need to factor in things like cost and start planning soon. like now.

there are other things on my mind too. studies aren't the only things...

i hate it when these thoughts come crashing down on me all at once. it makes me panicky. i know that God will bring me through this but right now, i have no idea how He will pull it off.

2007-09-21T13:40:00.000-07:00

URGH!!!

i don't believe this. yesterday, i forgot that i had econ lessons at 8am and happily slept til 10. i didn't even remember it until philosophy lesson, which was at 11. to top THAT off, i misunderstood the due time for the philosophy paper outline and so i had to explain why i only mailed my outline to my prof during class. he was really nice about it though because seriously, it was an honest mistake. =(

i was totally depressed that day la. couldn't concentrate in class because i was so horrified that i missed my morning lesson. HOW CAN I FORGET THAT I HAD LESSON?! this is absurd. anyway, my econ teacher was also very nice. she said i could meet her during her office hours. so phew!

i thought that was a bad day. THEN......i woke up at 8.30 this morning. AND MISSED MY BIO CLASS. WHAT THE $%##@$#. (sorry, just had to vent.) when i found out the time, i just lay in bed thinking of ways to kill myself.

the thing is, i really really didn't hear my alarm clock ring. i checked it and it was turned on...but somehow i just didn't hear it. sheesh. talk about a bad ending to the week. could whats left of the week be any worse??! seriously....

2007-09-20T13:03:00.000-07:00

God is really good.

He's blessed me continuously since I've been here. I'd worry about something and suddenly, the situation gets solved, many times without me doing anything. Sometimes, I'd pass some of these blessings off as coincidence, but seriously, when its happened so many times already, coincidence is no longer an option.

Your grace is sufficient for me. Thank you Lord.

2007-09-17T09:46:00.000-07:00

There was REAL rice yesterday for dinner at the dining hall. I mean REAL WHITE rice. The one you get back home. Not the "fake" one they always cook and tastes weird and so i never eat. hehe.

I realize how happy I get when I see glimpses of the familiar, of home. There's something warm and comforting about it. And i think the others feel the same way cos you should have seen what are fool we were making of ourselves standing over the plate of white rice and exclaiming about how "real" it was and that the cooks actually got it right for once. (they made something that looked like fried rice with the "fake rice" and....well, i didn't like it. They made fried noodles too with spaghetti which somehow didn't taste right either.) haha. maybe i'm a picky eater. no wait. actually i'm not.

anyway, the weather's getting colder now. this morning the temperature was 12 degrees. ITS GONNA BE FALL!

2007-09-15T19:13:00.001-07:00

I know I should have said this some time back...BUT, I'm really thankful my dad came with me to North Carolina.

At first, I was resistant to him coming along with me cos of problems with booking airline tickets, accommodation and not knowing what is he to do when he got there and me having orientation the day after i arrived.

But he came anyway. And although we were separated during the flight from Hong Kong to LA, due to an airlines' incompetence, I am really grateful for his company. Looking back, it would be lonely during that 12 hour wait in LA. Moreover, I probably wouldn't know what to do during all that time.

During the initial 3 days in UNC, it was almost a relief each day to see his familiar face amidst the sea of strange and unfamiliar ones. I think his presence there helped to make the transition easier, somehow.

I have no idea why i seemed more jetlagged then him. But i wasn't in the mood to make effort to talk a lot to people on the first day of orientation and after that i was so convinced i'll never make friends in this place. So you can kinda imagine what it felt like to see my dad after the long day and be able to talk freely with him.

Dad would join me during lunch or dinner when we ate at the dining hall. I tell you, he was so funny! while i was jet-lagged and slightly cranky and not in the mood to talk or even make the effort to, Dad struck up conversations with every parent on the table. I'm not exaggerating! He spoke to everyone! and i felt this eased the mood a lot as everyone started talking about where they were from and stuff.

I started talking a little more after that.

when it was time for him to leave, a sudden realization dawned that i was really gonna be alone and he's not gonna be there to help me anymore. and so when he hugged me that last time, i cried. ok, not bawl but i did cry a little. it just came as a wave...

2007-09-11T17:33:00.000-07:00

Ok! Here are some of the long awaited pictures i promised. There's more but i'll post them up at a later date. Enjoy!!

This isn't my dorm room by the way.

Condoms and tampons. sheesh.

2007-09-09T19:07:00.000-07:00

i realized something really important. university has a lot of distractions. （i'm not talking about boys).

there's so many things to do, so many activities to join, so many overseas programs to choose from! just this week, i had to decide whether i wanted to go for intervarsity big group, whether to go for the nus-unc cookout, whether to go for a friend's farewell party, what do i want to do for fall break...etc. lunch, brunch and dinner are all also something i have to decide on as these things can range from 15 mins quickies when i eat by myself or 2 hour long discussions on religion and life or plain crap.

the freedom here is seriously overwhelming. I AM OVERWHELMED! but would i trade this experience? my answer is a definite no. i found i discovered a lot about myself. things previously overlooked and i'm enjoying this journey of self-discovery.

i still have a lot of questions left unanswered from when i left singapore. and after coming here, i have more. but i've decided to take my time to find the answers. no point rushing to find out something and finding out later the information attained was superficial, false or not for me to know then.

oh yes! i think i haven't told any of you what i'm taking this semester. so here are my classes. by the way, should you forget, i'm supposed to be a bio major.

Biol 276 and 276L - Evolution of vertebrate life
Philosophy 160 - Introduction to Ethics
Econ 101 - Principles of Economics
Communications 085 - Think, Speak, Argue
Chinese 313 - Advance written chinese

2007-09-05T13:20:00.001-07:00

here's something you'll never find back home in Singapore.....

pit preachers

there are around 4 or 5 of them and they come as and when (mostly during my class times cos i don't really see them around when i walk near the pit). there's one preacher, gary birdsong who got suspended from speaking at the pit til march when he refused to give way to another group who booked the pit earlier....so now, he's the quad preacher.

i've only been to one session of their preaching. and stayed for 10 mins. but coming away from this, i really don't know whether to applaud these people or feel their work here is really meaningless.
it takes a lot of guts to really stand in front of hundreds of students a day and have people actually go to these sessions with the intention to bait you.

today a guy was questioning whether the old testament really said that the would be a messiah coming (as in the actual word, in hebrew of course). another girl "recalled" that she was under the impression that Jesus was put to death because the romans felt he was a threat and not because he died to take away the sins of the world.

just standing there, it really made my blood boil how people, just for the sake of baiting the guy, said whatever that came to mind without whole or even substantial proof (of course some thoughts are what they truly believed in). most of them wanted to talk. and just stood there and laugh. and the guy just kept explaining and explaining and explaining.

BUT i guess one thing good about all this is that i saw people actually getting excited that someone was there sharing about the faith. the guy standing behind me kept saying to his friend "thats what i'm talking about man!" people here are not afraid to show their faith. these pit preachers have been here for years and yet they never cease. this says a lot about how convicted they are. college students aren't the easiest people to talk to or convince.

i haven't seen every preacher yet but i have heard that one guy talk about how 30% of college students engage in premarital kissing. another "comdemned" quite a lot of his audience to hell. that would actually be quite an interesting session. i must go and find him.

2007-09-02T20:59:00.000-07:00

Throughout the endless ages
You have been crowed with praises

Lord most high
Exalted in every nation
Your're soverign of all creation
Lord most high
Be magnified

2007-09-02T18:58:00.001-07:00

ok. yesterday, i did a very bad thing.

i went to Duke and missed the first football game of the season. SHEESH. AND i heard that someone parachuted down with the ball and there were fireworks at the end of the game when we won! HOW COULD I HAVE MISSED ALL THAT!!!!!

anyway, the singaporeans all went to Duke because the Singapore Student Association there had a picnic/karaoke session and they invited us to join them. we came too late for the picnic where they had TAUHUAY and CHIN CHOW. But the night ended well with karaoke, bridge and mahjong (yes, i actually learnt how to play mahjong).

duke is absolutely gorgeous. its so beautiful and gothic. i really really like the architecture. there are flowers everywhere. and its not the "going to die" kinda flowers with ugly , dull colours. the flowers here are very bright, hightlighter shades. the whole of duke looks like a huge fortress. reminds me of medieval castles. haha. i like.

after walking through it for a bit, everyone inevitably started to compare the layout and buildings with UNC. true, duke is lovely. but the whole place just seems too prim and proper and slightly depressing. (there's too much shade perhaps and the buildings are crammed quite close together.) UNC has a lot of open spaces and because the foilage isn't as expansive, the whole place looks very bright. i realize then that UNC has a very welcoming atmosphere that wasn't really apparent at duke, no matter how friendly all the singaporean dukies are. (btw, these are just my thoughts. i have nothing against duke). =P

i'll load some pictures when if find out how.

2007-08-31T07:10:00.001-07:00

one thing good about living on campus is that I can get up for an 8am class at 7.30 and be back in bed by 9am.

2007-08-24T21:57:00.000-07:00

It's been almost 2 weeks and on the whole, I think my experiences so far has been very enriching, not to mention overwhelming.

Living without parents or other "guardians" to watch over me has been VERY NICE. Yet, the added responsibility has meant that i have to be much more aware of very mundane issues like remembering to eat (yes, I forgot to eat lunch yesterday) and noting when to do laundry (which I haven't done yet). I like the fact that now I get to decide everything, or almost. Its nice to be able to decide when to go home and sleep and not be stressed over the fact that my parents are waiting for me to get home. However, though i'm not homesick yet, I do miss having my family and friends around. Things are getting busier and I don't usually have much time to think about all this, but when i do, i do miss all of you.

Life has been fun so far. And even though I deliberately chose a school with few singaporeans, i realize its really great to have them around. its actually a relief to have them here. so far, they've been the group i hang out with a lot (i'm not close to my classmates yet). There's like this unspoken "rule" (its not a good word but i can't think of another) that we should band together. So we basically see each other almost everyday. Mostly for dinner, sometimes for lunch. I really thank God for placing this group of people here. Its just reassuring to know that no matter what, there's a group of people here who go through the same problems as me and who will be there for me.

People here are generally friendly. There are quite a lot of students here who've been to NUS to study so its not uncommon for someone to come up to us and say "are you guys from singapore, cos i heard someone say 'la'." These students are also more than happy to talk about how much they enjoyed they're stay back home and how they miss hearing our accent. So the transition from home to here hasn't been so drastic.

2007-08-19T06:15:00.001-07:00

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